Modde Twins {32 Weeks}

So why does 32 weeks sound so insane to me. It sound so official and as though if you made your mind up to come out, you would be ok. But remember, bake as long as you think you need to. Be healthy and safe but if you are done…so…am…I!

Sorry to say but this was not a good week ladies. Your Mama ended up in the hospital this week. We think exhaustion just finally took over and kicked my ass. I don’t remember the last time I slept more than maybe 45 minutes at a time. That combined with how huge I am and how short I am just is not a good combo.

I have been having troubles breathing for a while now. And I don’t mean just here and there, I mean all of the time. Waking to the kitchen. Going up stairs. Standing in line at the grocery store. All of it just takes my breath away. But lately it has been so intense that it is causing multiple panic attacks every day, which then turn into this big episode and it is just awful. Well one night this week, it was just too much to take. I woke your Dad up around 3 in the morning and just was looking for him to help me (he is so good at calming my nerves with just a small touch.) But nothing was working. We tried for an hour and a half and finally after being so worried I was hurting you guys I said lets just go get checked out. Well the hospital completely sucked. We spent 12 hours there! 12!!!! It was the worst day ever. They were great to me and did so many tests so I am thankful but wow it was not an easy day. Especially after being awake for 24 hours at that point and not eating. Just not a good day. But they tested everything they could to make sure you and I were doing okay. Turns out I am just too little to carry you ladies. I don’t know if that means you are gigantic, let’s hope not, or I am just too short to carry two babies that it’s making life difficult. Because my belly is so big my food isn’t able to go down. So it basically sits between my throat and stomach and comes up and down a bunch of times causing me to choke and have massive acid build up. Aside from that, the size of my belly sitting on my legs is causing them to go numb (purple even if I am sitting). So that is not an awesome feeling. But standing doesn’t work either because I can’t carry the weight. Long story short, my body just is not big and not strong enough to carry the two of you with ease. The good news is that I am perfectly healthy, and so are you!! Which after spending 12 hours there was not awesome to here in some way but was also very reassuring. I am happy to know that this is somewhat “normal” and I will be okay but most of all that I am not hurting you. That’s all that mattered to me.

So although that 12 hour sucked the next 14 didn’t. We came home. I ate, which actually felt amazing, had a bath and literally fell asleep in the bath. Woke up and slept 14 hours. Not straight of course, pee breaks happen on the hour every hour, but it felt amazing. I felt human. I think I was just so exhausted and just crashed.

Other than that it was pretty uneventful. We did some Christmas activities. I have been really pushing myself to get out and try for Mason. This Christmas is very different for us so I am still trying to make it enjoyable for your brother. After all, it is his last one as an only child.

Okay loves, talk next week!

xoxoxo
Mom

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