I just realized that I kind of just skipped to week 12 and didn’t tell you anything leading up to it. The truth is, I don’t know how. I don’t know how because I don’t even know where to start. Our journey to get to this point has been so incredibly crazy, heartbreaking, and honestly so taxing that it’s all kind of jumbled together. Now I don’t want any of that to take away from how special and important you are to us because believe me, there are no words for that. But if I’m being honest it was really hard for us to accept this as a possibility. That our pregnancy is viable and we may walk away from this with a baby in our arms, and now to imagine having two!!

So unfortunately I don’t even remember the day we found out we were pregnant with you. I do know the events around it but not when it was.

It was early. I think 4 weeks or so. I just knew. Literally knew. Something in me told me to take a test before I was even late. Your Dad hates that I do that. We should have stocks in pregnancy test by now haha. But I just knew.  It was funny actually. I was cleaning up the kitchen with your brother and just put the test on the counter. I kind of forgot about it and then remembered and went to look at it. I glanced and assumed it said not pregnant and went to keep cleaning. I literally had to do a double take. What the heck. Wow. Holy intuition.

So your Dad was due home from work soon and normally I would plan some big reveal, that’s just my style you’ll learn that, but with everything that has happened it just didn’t seem right anymore. So I ordered pizza and stuck the stick in the pizza box for him to open (don’t worry it was wrapped up and not touching anything eatable). He came home. Opened the box and Instantly gave me crap for taking a test so early lol that’s just how we work.

We hugged. We kissed. We sat in silence because a positive test has meant so much for us. So much good and bad. It’s such a mix of emotions. It’s so hard to even explain. It’s not that we didn’t care. It’s that we are so scared to be hurt again that I guess we were just removed a bit. Guarded. And just scared of the possibilities.

But that’s it. That was the day we found out. Oh and when we told Mason, he instantly said there were two. Call it this weird spiritual thing kids apparently have or just a good guess because we’ve had twins before. Either way we’ll find out just how right he is next week when we find out if you guys are blue blue, pink pink, or blue pink. Mason already has super hero names picked out for you and has said since day one that it’s blue pink so I guess we will see!

Until next week

Love you little skittles

Mom