Let’s just say this week was a hard one. Unfortunately we have a family member that is very very ill, my Aunt. It kind of hit us like a ton of bricks. I am sure the hormones do not help at all but I am heart broken over the news. You see family is something very important. One you can’t choose. One that shapes who you are and takes up a huge spot in your heart no matter what your relationship with them is like. My Aunt, Uncle and my cousins were always a huge part of my life growing up. Not that they aren’t now, but life just gets a little busy when you turn into that thing we can an adult. But as a kid I would spend most holidays and school breaks at their house. I was pretty much their 5th kid for the holidays. I have always stayed close with my cousins. We have had our share of ups and downs as most families do but man does this family mean a lot to me. Hearing the news about my Auntie has been awful. The worst part is being so far away. We live 6 hours from everybody back home. This 33 week pregnant mama isn’t supposed to be travelling and is supposed to be resting as much as possible. Unfortunately things took a bit of a turn for the worse and she was transferred up to Calgary, 3 hours closer to us. So as awful as this is it was great that they were giving her the best care she deserves and it brought her closer. I knew I had to go see her, and I am so glad I did.

Seeing someone you love in a horrible state is so incredibly hard. It makes all the memories come back and all the ones she won’t share in appear. It makes you think about life as a whole and what we are doing. It makes you turn to one another and be there in ways you never truly thought you would have to be. It felt so good to see my cousins. The love that family has for one another is absolutely admirable. But it was all hard. I am hoping my gigantic belly could bring some comic relief and put some smiles on faces, even just for a few minutes. It was a hard visit but with not knowing what the near future holds for her, I am so incredibly glad we made the trip.

It for sure was a long day, we went there and back in the one day, but you ladies did so great. Thank you for easing up on me, if just for one day.

One great thing that happened this week..YOUR ROOM IS DONE!

Okay well not really, there is nothing on the walls but it is as done as it will be for a while. And I am in love. The final piece that we were waiting for completely finished it and made it the little girls room of my dream. I cannot wait to see you sleeping in there, yes I said sleeping!

And then back to not so awesome news. We had our Dr. appointment this week. I am always excited to see you, and see how you have grown. Looks like you are about 5 pounds each now (holy moly that is 10 pounds of just baby). My tummy is gigantic, did I mention that yet?! It is measuring 45 weeks. That is so insane. 45 weeks is something most people will never see or feel. Man am I feeling it. It is heavy! I gained 3 pounds this week, which makes sense because so did you. But unfortunately you two are stubborn, you’ll fit right in with the family. Baby B is in transverse position, laying right across my belly from side to side. And baby A is full breech with head in my ribs and feet in my lower belly. It has been like this for weeks but we had hope you would move. In this position there is no way to have you guys naturally. C section date is booked.

Now before today if you would have asked what I wanted, it didn’t matter to me. After having a terrible delivery with your brother, I honestly was okay with whatever we needed to do. But hearing the Dr say it is extremely unlikely for you to move and picked a date for your c section, it broke my spirit a bit. Because Masons delivery sucked so bad I really was hoping to have a “normal” delivery. Also since we do not have family here having support after a surgery will be a bit harder. Just so many things went through my head that I didn’t truly know I cared about. I know it will all be fine and meant to be. I know no matter how you enter this world all that matters is that you are in it and are safe.

So I guess we will see how next weeks appointment goes. There were some worries with my blood pressure and swelling so lets hope that is back to normal.

Love you ladies

Mama!