Okay ladies, this is going to be a short and sweet post because guess what…surprise surprise…your Mama is TIRED!

The days seem long and the weeks seem short. Which I believe is the same as when you are on the outside. I am feeling pretty rough these days. By the end of the day I can hardly walk anymore. I have pressure in places I would rather not have pressure. Im swollen like crazy and I just feel so heavy. We have a Dr. appointment next week and I cannot wait to see if you had a big growth spurt or something because holy man do I feel huge. I took a couple cell phone pictures and my belly has definitely changed size and shape by a lot.

Oh I almost forgot, I unpacked your closet this week. Man was that a daunting task. I feel like I have never had a kid before. I feel absolutely clueless with what I need and especially because there are two of you. As I put away stuff I got so excited with ruffles and pinks and all things girls. But also realized you have no actual clothes hah. You will be living in onesies for a bit I supposed. What do babies even wear anyway haha.

It’s the end of November so the Christmas festivities are beginning and if there is one thing about me you need to know, I LOVE Christmas like nothing else. I love the crispy snow (although not a fan of being cold), and the winter air. I love the lights and love and laughter. I love all of the Christmas events. Living in a big city there is always something to do and see this time of year. We went and spent the day at a festival while they lit up trees and had fireworks. I love seeing your brothers face just beam full of excitement at these events, even if they are seriously kicking me ass.

Everything we do these days I tell myself, “this is the last time as a family of 3!” So as much as it is hard on me, I am determined to give Mason our time and attention while we can. It’s sure going to be spread out a lot more once you little ones join us. I cannot wait but I am also sad for the change. It has been 4 and a half years just the three of us.  I worry about his little heart feeling left out or pushed aside. The biggest advice everyone keeps giving me is to make time for him and I, one on one. And I truly hope I can do this with all of you. I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks because I am so scared to fail you guys. I never imagined having a family of five and now that it’s coming I just want to be the best Mom I can be for all of you, no matter what that looks like or what each of you need. I want to be everything for you and give you everything your hearts desire.

Okay now that I have had my cry for the day out of the way, seriously I don’t remember the last day I didn’t cry holy hormones.

I love you ladies. Hope you aren’t too squished in there. Stay warm and cozy

Xo

Your Mama
(oh I included a photo at the end, your helpful brother just wanted to make sure to take one of me too <3 )