The month of February, back in 2010, I boarded a plane where my soldier was waiting for me on the other end. 

Shawn left for Afghanistan in October of 2009. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a day we talked about for months and months leading up to it. I wasn’t all familiar with the military and how it all worked. Shawn just kept saying he was going over seas for a while (about 6 months, ended up being over 7). That’s all that mattered. I am pretty naive when it comes to the real world and all the devastation it holds. I like to stay in my bubble. But that morning felt extra cold. We stayed up all night the night before just talking about what to expect and how things would be for the next little while. It was still all just a picture that was too hard to wrap my head around. But, I didn’t have a choice. You can’t help who you fall in love with. And I fell in love with a real life GI Joe

So we left for the base that morning, and we were exhausted. We have a few photos of us just before he left, and we just look terrible. You could tell this was really taking a tole on us. So we sat with friends until everyone left, then Shawn took me aside and said it was time. As we hugged I remember standing in the hallway on the way out and I listened to another couple say their goodbyes. She sobbed into his shoulder like something you would see on a movie. In fact, this is exactly what that felt like. Men running around in their army gear with their bags packed. Women and children with signs and tears saying good-byes (or as I like to say it, their “see you soons”). I felt my eyes wheling up and knew that this just wasn’t something I wanted to do. I had to be strong for Shawn. He was going off to serve our country and do amazing things. My crying wasn’t going to help or change anything. So we quickly hugged with a few soft kisses and I left. I so badly wanted to turn around and run back into his arms. I could feel him watching me walk away but I had to keep going or I was going to break. So I kept walking…didn’t look back…and I got in my car.

I sobbed.

 Harder then I knew I could. In fact, my eyes are full of tears just remember that morning as I write this. It was such an amazing overwhelming feeling. My man was leaving and of course the worse things enter your mind…

I may never see him again.

As I drove home I managed to see through my tear filled eyes. I walked into our place and the first thing I saw were his shoes. Well the tears began again and felt like they were never going to stop. I ran to bed, crawled in and got up many hours later. It was a cold October day when the man I loved left to fight for our country.

 Skip ahead to February where we finally got to be together again. Not for good yet, but for a long 3 weeks. What to do with that time? We knew we wanted to go somewhere beautiful and just be in peace. Thailand was the perfect place. We did so many amazing things this trip. We rode elephants, swam with crazy creatures, and toured the most beautiful place I have ever seen.

February 14^th comes around and we decided to change where we were staying. We headed over to the Phi-Phi Islands where a beautiful resort awaited us. It was a long 2 hour boat ride over to the island so the muffin that I am, I  needed a refresher nap. Shawn decided to go scout out where we would have dinner that night while I slept. Well funny thing is, I had a card and a little gift planned for Shawn, or so I thought. I literally flipped my suit case upside down looking for it. Shawn walks back into our room to find me sitting in a pile of clothes. The card and gift were not in there. I was so incredibly sad. But, whatever. We were in Thailand, how was a card really going to make this trip any better.

So we get ready for dinner and me being the camera snob that I am, I wanted to take some pictures before we left. Well something was wrong with Shawn. For those of you that watch Friends…he looked like Chandler. He couldn’t smile for the life of him and had this weird akward look on his face. I remember saying, “What is wrong with your face?” So needless to say the photo session did not work out so we headed to dinner.

Dinner was amazing…from what I can remember. It was on a beautiful pier. The sun was setting. We were the only two there. It was beyond amazing.

 Here is a little back story. Shawn gave me a promise ring a long time ago. He would always take it off my finger, rub it on his shirt and clean it for me. So, as we sat their in Thailand, I jokingly said, “wouldn’t it be cute if you took my ring off to “clean” it and you put on an engagement one instead???” *insert explanation of the Chandler face here*. 

 The idiot that I am carried on with usual conversation not realising I just ruined something he had planned. So we ordered dinner and while we waited I was just staring at our surroundings. It was just amazing. As I turned back to look at Shawn, sitting across from me, something caught my eye. A gigantic sparkling ring was sitting in the middle of my plate.

***INSTANT BAWLING***

Oh my goodness. This is happening. This is really really happening.

Shawn comes around to my side of the table and says

 “Nicole, I love you. Will you be my Valentine for the rest of my life?”

 I actually don’t even remember saying yes or what happened for the next 30 minutes or so. I do remember making him actually ask me to marry him though. Yup, that’s how I roll.

 It was prefect and like nothing I could have ever imagined. After I didn’t eat my meal and Shawn shovelled his in, we stood beside our table and danced to someone singing

“I’ll be right here waiting for you!”

 It couldn’t have been more fitting for our moment and where we were in our lives.

 That was my moment. It was my one and only proposal and it was perfect. Words can’t even describe the thoughts and feelings. It was amazing and I am happy every day that my man made it home safe and we have spent almost 5 loving years together. He means the entire world to me and I couldn’t imagine what my life would be without him.

 My Personal Love Story

 I Love You Shawn Modde!