Modde Twins {20 Weeks}

You guys!!!! (sorry, girls)

20 WEEKS!!!! I am sure I was this excited when I was 20 weeks with your brother but I can honestly say I never thought I would be here again.

You see, this was our last try. If we got pregnant and it didn’t work out, we were done. If we tried again and it didn’t stick, we were done. This was it for us.

And then came you. And even though the test said positive and things progressed, there has still been so much doubt for me. I hate that I feel this way but it is very hard for me to think this is real life. That I got you, not only you but two of you and two girls to boot. And now here we are, 20 weeks in and things are going great. Am I dreaming? If I am, please don’t wake me.

We saw the Dr this week and it was a great visit. He said everything from your ultra sound looks great. He said all of your measurements are almost identical (hmmmm I wonder if maybe you are). Even your heartbeats were super close when he checked (busy baby B must have settled down haha). But he said it all looks great and I would by lying if he didn’t sound surprised. He told me that he wouldn’t even say congratulations to me until we passed the 14 week mark. He was a scared as I was I think. But he said the way everything looks, he would have never thought we had the history that we do. My Dr. has been with us through it all. He is the one who sent us for the test that determined we were all fine but had unexplained second infertility. And then he took care of all of the pregnancies in between, including terminating them. I love that he’s been there for it all. I have hopes that he will deliver you too, that is the plan anyway.

Sorry, side tracked. So your appointment went well. He said you guys are measuring right on track, which is nice to hear because your brother was always measuring big. But he did do a measurement on my tummy and guess what…I am measuring…27 weeks! That is 7 weeks bigger than “normal’! How crazy is that? It’s kind of crazy, and kind of not. I am huge, this I know. There is not one part of me that is small right now. I’m just going with it and embracing that this is just us and my last pregnancy. I am accepting that there are two of you in there. I am understanding that I am 5’3” and there isn’t a whole lot room for you to go but out. I am accepting it all. But the hard part is its causing me a lot of pain. I guess you are both positioned straight across my tummy but with your heads down and feet out to my sides. Great position to be in when it comes time to take you out but right now its just straight up painful. So we did some tests and the Dr. said I have a pretty severe case of Diastasis recti (abdominal separation). Now I did know this from your brother but I had no idea it would cause this much pain later on. Apparently it means I have zero core strength to keep you guys up so basically the whole top of my tummy is your fluid and the bottom is baby. So that makes sense for the pressure. I have no idea how I will make it another 20 weeks (yes I know we won’t go that long but still hoping to go to 37 weeks). I still have a few weddings to photograph as well so it should be interesting.

Anyway, we also went for a road trip this week to Medicine Hat, your Mamas home town. We usually end up going every 3 months or so but this year has been a bit crazy. But we always go down in the Fall for my work, photography. But we got to enjoy quite a bit of family time while we were there. Your Nama (that’s what Mason has named her aka Gramma) took a couple days off to spend with us, which was so nice. We went swimming which happens to feel amazing on my growing body. And your big brother did awesome with his jumps in the pool and showing off all his swimming tricks. We also got to have a yummy turkey dinner since Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It was so so yummy.

OH AND, you let Nama feel your kicks. Quite a few times actually. It was nice for someone outside of my body finally feel them. We are still here for a bit longer so we’ll see if you let her feel anymore.

Talk soon loves

xo

Your Mama

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